Pregnancy, Santa Claus, and Baby Jesus


Well, I’m starting my second trimester. The first trimester was tough and I’m so glad it’s over! There was morning sickness, exhaustion, and waves of doubt. Again, SO glad it’s over.

It’s amazing how different two pregnancies can be. Multiple people tell me that this time around it’s a boy, and that’s why it’s so different. We won’t know for sure until the end of January, but my gut is telling me that they are right. I just knew Emma was a girl, and somehow, I just know this one is a boy.

The first time around, with Emma, pregnancy was a gift! I was glowing and I felt like a million bucks! It actually “healed” me in ways and it was one of the best times of my life. Right now though, there is more negative than positive (although a new baby is the greatest gift ever so I’m not REALLY complaining). I am extremely tired and lack energy all day long, I have heartburn and indigestion, I’m gaining weight rapidly, I have this “eh, I don’t care” feeling about everything… I can’t explain it all, but it’s almost like a depression of some sort. It’s odd. I couldn’t be happier about a baby, and I’m so anxious to meet them, so how can I feel like this?!?

I miss my Mommy friends this time around. If you missed it, my first pregnancy I felt alone and out of the loop, so my high school friend Megan, who was pregnant at the same time was a friend on Twitter, and she introduced me to my other (then pregnant) Mommy friends Liz, Alyssa and Angie. Since then we’ve had breakfasts, dinners, playdates, holiday events, etc. However, lately everyone is so busy with toddlerhood that it’s near impossible to see them. Liz moved away (miss you Liz!), Angie moved like to another country (Wildwood I think, lol), Megan’s husband is a farmer so her schedule is crazy, and Alyssa is a FT worker, PT professor, and an author (3 books out now) so she’s super busy these days. I did get to see Alyssa this past weekend, but Emma was a mess and it was for breakfast so it was quick. I need a playdate soon!


Christmas is just about two weeks away now and it’s so thrilling to watch Emma enjoy the season. She has gotten all hyped up about Santa (from school I’m guessing), so I’m spending a lot of time telling her about the real reason for the season. The only way I could capture her attention though is by referring to Him as “Baby Jesus.” So now each time we talk about Him, she says she wants to hold Him. How do you explain to a two year old that she can’t do that?

I’ve warmed up to Santa Claus surprisingly. I grew up in a house where Santa wasn’t allowed. No movies, no pictures, no toys or decorations; it was always all about Jesus. I didn’t mind it at all actually, but I want Emma to have the first few years with Santa. Only because she doesn’t really understand yet that he’s a big figure and she doesn’t look at him and presents as the big part of the holiday. In all reality, it’s the lights and decorations that she calls “Christmas.” She might finally be getting old enough to teach her about Jesus and God and read her stories from her children’s Bible, so maybe next year she will understand a bit better. FYI - she's seen two Santas already!

I splurged earlier in the year and bought us tickets to the Polar Express at Union Station, you know, since I’m okay with Santa for the moment. **Pictures to come later.** It’s so hyped up and it looked so magical! The event for us finally came on December 4th, and let me tell you… unless you purchase the most expensive option, save your money! I was pretty disappointed with it all, and I think some other parents were as well. It’s just like any other Amtrak ride, but hotter and with treats, and Santa gets on at the end. Ugh, lots of money for nothing that special. We are going to go to the Holiday Dinner (same location) on the 23rd, and I’m hoping that it’s not as disappointing.  

Because we started Emma in daycare this year, money has been tight for Christmas gifts. I know she’s two and she won’t remember down the road, but I want her to have everything she could want! Here is my dilemma: I don’t want my parents to upstage Mommy and Daddy. They want to spoil her as well, and I know they have already gotten her a ton of gifts including some big items, so I’m compelled to keep buying so Emma doesn’t look at our Christmas as “nothing” but Grandma and PawPaws as the “grand finale.” I know, you probably think I’m being silly. I should feel blessed that my parents want to give her a wonderful life, but it just gives me anxiety for some reason. I keep telling myself “let them do this now, because one day they might not be here to do it.”

Another thing I’m noticing with this holiday, is that Emma is all about Christmas crafts. She got a kit from Schnucks’ Santa to make her own Jingle Bell necklace and gingerbread sticker house, and she’s been asking for more crafts ever since.  So we made a Michaels run on Sunday night and got six or seven crafts for her to do. Needless to say it’s Monday night and we only have one left. Lol, she just won’t stop! Looks like I’ll be making another trip. Girlfriend loves to paint!

Surprisingly, I’m almost done with shopping. Have a wrapped a single gift? No. They are still in their shopping bags in the corner of our bedroom. Thank goodness Emma isn’t old enough to snoop yet. I just have a couple more things to buy, and I’ll be done. I’m kind of bummed about that though because I love the hustle and bustle of shopping last minute. Maybe I’ll wait for one thing until Christmas Eve just to be out in it. Haha.

How are you all holding up this holiday season?

1 comment:

  1. How you have felt with your pregnancies is EXACTLY how I felt during mine. With my daughter, it was a breeze. The boys? I struggled the entire time.
    I felt horrible that I missed out on the Polar Express tickets, but I'm glad I saw your post. I don't feel so awful now.
    I haven't wrapped a single Christmas gift and I still have a few to buy. I'm internally freaking out.