Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

This post seems like one giant run-on sentence to me, and I can hear the whine in my non-verbal tone, but I just have to get this out there. In case you were wondering where I've been... In case you've been wondering how I've been... In case you were just wondering.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You guys… this working Mom thing is hard! No, not just because I miss my kids, but because I’m exhausted all the time.

I thought that with Gene being a stay-at-home Dad for a while, it would take some of the load off of me, but I was wrong; he helps out a lot with the kids and chores, but I’m still drained. I literally wake up tired, I walk through the day tired, I go through the motions at home each night tired, and I usually collapse on the couch and fall asleep with the kids on the couch after nine. Gene will come along and take the kids to bed and wake me up to tell me to go to bed, and then I start all over again the next morning. Each day I become more and more tired, and occasional sleep-ins don’t even help anymore.

Some days I feel too tired to even sit at my desk to work. I do it, of course, but I could cry I’m so tired sometimes. Even now, it’s taking every ounce of energy to get this post typed up and it’s not even that late.

I know what you’re thinking… you’re thinking “well go to the doctor!” I have though. I’ve mentioned my fatigue multiple times. I usually get the whole “you’re a tad overweight, so all you probably need is some exercise and a good clean diet.” But then I try to explain to them that I’m too tired to exercise. I can’t get up earlier than I already do because I am just too tired, and I can’t after work because I have to make dinner and do bath time and run errands, etc. And doing anything after the kids go to bed is not an option either because I can’t even put them to bed myself; I’m asleep with them.

It’s getting so bad that by the time I get home from work, I don’t even want to play with my kids. I want to lay on the couch and watch them play by themselves. I don’t want to make them a healthy dinner; I want to feed them cereal so I can just sit down and not move. I contemplate calling in sick to work when I’m not even sick just to stay in bed all day (I’m too chicken to do it, but boy I’d love to). I can feel it down to my bones. I’m tired. So, so, tired.

And to boot, I have no idea why I’m so drained all the time because I get a good 7 hours of sleep at least. I drink coffee in the morning, but usually just one cup to not crash or have an adverse reaction. I’m even starting to wonder if I’m depressed and just don’t know it.

But, in all actuality, the doctor is probably just right about me being overweight and needing to exercise more. I want to, I really do… I’m just SO tired. I’m going to start with a better diet, and more play with the kids, and go from there.

Hopefully it will get better soon because the daylight is getting shorter and it’s making it even worse!