2 Weeks

Well, it's Emma's 2 week birthday today. No, we aren't celebrating week birthdays or anything. But can you believe my baby girl is 2 weeks old? I'd like to say that it feels like just yesterday I had her, but in reality it feels like it was months ago.



I've been slacking on the posts lately, what with having a newborn in the house and all. Speaking of newborn, mine seems to be waking up... hang on...

Okay, it's now the day after Emma's 2 week birthday. Goes to show how a baby can change your plans completely, huh?

I'd thought I'd just highlight some things from our first 2 weeks as a family.

- Emma loves the boobie. I decided to try breast feeding in the hospital, as the previous blog descibed, and because I had a C-Section and my milk supply took its time Emma had to spend much more time than normal attached to get the amount needed. Now, she is a comfort nurser. Meaning that when she's the slightest bit upset or tired she wants to latch on and "suckle" (as Gene calls it) until she falls asleep. This is the most time consuming, painful, pain in the butt thing. There are days, like today, where she's awake all day just feeding. Why? Well, even though within the first 20 minutes she gets nice and full, she burns more calories doing her fake nursing so then she's hungry again within an hour. It's a vicious circle, and if she doesn't get her way she screams bloody murder. The doctor told us to let her scream. But, it breaks my heart to see and hear her like that. I love her. I don't want her to be unhappy. Plus, I read that those babies seem to end up with anxiety and self-esteem issues.

**Now it's 4 days after her 2 week birthday. Wow, I can't seem to get through one post these days. Update on the nursing thing - we seem to be learning from each other and we are getting a bit better with feeding and soothing both. However, the soreness is still an issue.

- Emma doesn't seem to cry for anything other than wanting boobie. If she has a wet or dirty diaper we will never know unless we check. She will cry when she's gassy or has an upset tummy, but her way to calm that herself is to eat to try to push it all out, so that doesn't really count. And so far she hasn't cried to be held... We know this one bc if she cries she "roots" so that we know what she's wanting. I'm fine with this piece of info. :-)

- I absolutely hate getting up in the middle of the night to feed Emma. While I was pregnant I got up constantly to pee or even to watch tv., but it's much harder now. I think I get exhausted during the day and just want to sleep all night but can't. It's getting better, meaning the feedings are now only about 30 minutes compared to the previous hour or more, but getting up out of my comfy bed is agonizing. I wish I could be one of those moms that loves her baby so much that it doesn't bother them the slightest. I love Emma more than anything in the world, and I will get my butt up each and every time she needs me, but I love my sleep too so I don't see my grumpiness in this area getting better any time soon.

- While I think Gene is a great daddy, I wish he was able to help more. When Emma gets up at 3am and wants fed, I am the one who gets up to feed her. He says he will give her a bottle, but Em will only fall asleep latched to me. In her 2.5 wks of life she's only fallen asleep on her own twice since home and the rest in the hospital. Those two times took more than 2 hours of bottles, rocking, bouncing, swinging, shushing, etc. I don't see how that will benefit any of us if it's done in the middle of the night. But, alas, with Gene on vaca/leave this week we are going to attempt it bc once I go back to work we will need to share the load. His timing is also the worst. The moment I need help is the exact time he needs to go potty, or he ran downstairs to do laundry, or he's in the shower... Poor guy can't catch a break when it comes to timing. Never could.

- Nobody ever told me that the first few months were so "boring." When I say that I mean that a newborn can't really look at you, or smile at you, or coo, or anything really. To be quite honest it's almost unrewarding. I know each day will bring something new, and it does, but I long for Emma to really see me, and laugh, and coo, and reach for me. I need some attention from her other than boobie time.

- I have the baby blues. I fall apart every day. I cry a couple times a day over things ranging from the news to how much I love Emma. When it's really bad I take a long shower and cry hysterically in private. I think it's all really from exhaustion. I'm almost positive it's not depression bc the nurse at my last appt told me those signs and I most definitely don't have those. But, I didn't think the baby blues lasted this long either. All I know is that I hate for Gene to see me cry, especially for no reason at all.

- I wish I could capture pictures of all of Emma's crazy faces. I seem to miss them all. :-(

- I've lost double the weight I gained during pregnancy. I gained 20lbs total, and as of today I've lost 40. I have no idea how other than BFing and not snacking or indulging. My concern, however, is that maybe my lack of calories is affecting Emma's lack of weight gain. I've been trying to eat more, but it's not easy with a newborn either.

I could go on and on, but for the sake of actually posting this blog I will stop here. Hopefully things will continue to get better and easier as the days go by.

Jenni