It is truly amazing how happy Emma makes me.
Every day for the last two weeks have been awful at work. I keep telling myself that it will get better (whether it’s at work itself or by finding a new career path), but each day continues to be worse than the last. I sit at work and daydream about ways that I might make things better, but daydreaming gets me nowhere. And while I tell myself that I will look for new opportunities when I get home, it never actually happens. Why? Because of Emma.
As soon as I open my front door all the worries in the world are long gone. There is my baby girl, waiting to greet her Mama with a big smile and sparkling eyes. Normally the first thing I do is gobble her up from whatever she is doing and hold her, squeeze her, kiss her cheek and tell her that I love her over and over. While it may only be 9 hours away from her while I’m at work, it feels like days.
As I type this I get all teary. Never, in my entire life (up until a few months ago), did I ever think I’d want to do nothing but stay at home with my daughter. I always said that if I had kids I’d still work full-time because a career is important to me. Well, a career is still important to me, but my current career has taken a path that I’m not enjoying going down and because of it, all I can think about is being a stay-at-home Mom. Or even just a part-time worker. While the thought of not having an actual career kills me, the thought of being with Emma almost all the time fills my heart with such happiness.
So, since things aren’t so hot, I pray all the time. I ask for signs. I ask for strength. I ask for help to determine what direction I should take. It’s been over a week and nothing yet, but I’m hopeful. I’ve been blessed with a wonderful daughter (not to mention a super-cute dog and a fantastic husband), so good things can happen! Maybe you could pray for me too. J
Until things get better I will keep going with the flow, and just do whatever it takes to get me home to see Emma again.
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