The Friday Four - 3.20.15

LIKE – I think I speak for everyone when I say that I’m liking this Spring weather! Okay, so today was chilly, and tomorrow will barely be better, but Saturday is supposed to be in the 70’s and I’m digging it! We've cleaned the back yard, we've played ball and catch, we've even BBQ’d a couple times already! I’m not sure if it’s the pregnancy in me wanting fresh air and sunshine, or if I have cabin fever, but I just want to do things outdoors. We went to the flea market last week, we had a garage sale the weekend before, and I even got sunburned! I’m just enjoying each nice day and can't get enough of it.

LOVE – I’m loving this new stage in Emma’s life. She’s very independent, and she’s choosing things for herself. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still clingy and needy (girl cannot play by herself for anything), but she wants to be involved in everything and have the opportunity to do things on her own. She can put her shoes on all by herself, she puts her own dishes in the sink, she picks out her clothes for the day and even knows when they don’t match! She gets angry if we don’t let her do things herself (tantrum waiting to happen), and she gets even more angry if she’s unsuccessful at doing it on her own. Even with the mini screaming fits if we forget to let her try, I still love that she’s growing up to be independent and is first to try things on her own before asking or insisting on help.

WANT – My Mom and Gene keep asking me what I want for my birthday. They both know what I’m going to say – a new windshield for my car, a new shower for the basement, a new ceiling fan for Emma’s big girl room, maybe a new chandelier in the dining room… you get where I’m going here. However, both of them keep saying that they want me to have something for myself. It’s so hard because we need to do so much to the house and my car that I just think it’s silly to get something frivolous. Sure, I’d use a tablet for work as much as at home, but it’s not a necessity. My laptop may be slow as molasses, but it still works. I could desperately use a pedicure, but I could do it myself (okay, maybe not since I can barely touch my toes). So, how am I supposed to make that decision? How am I supposed to say, “Okay, I want this for ME, even though WE need these things?” Isn't that like taking things away from Emma because I want something for myself? I hear all the time, “you still have to do things for you.” And then you read in articles how it’s so important to not lose that side of you that was there before kids and adult responsibilities, but how is that even possible really? I just don’t know. Why is it so hard to spend money on myself???

HATE – I hate, hate, hate Emma’s “cloudy days.” I’m not sure who told me about this app when Emma was just a baby, but it’s called TheWonder Weeks. The Wonder Weeks is basically this: When your baby is having a mental leap (meaning any new brain development, like learning to pick up things, ability to stack things, etc.) they have “cloudy days,” as I call them, which means clinginess, crankiness and crying (the 3 C’s) . Once their brain is done with that task, they move on to “sunny days,” which as you can guess is happiness. According to the app (and the book I’m sure), the wonder weeks stop at Week 75, which is 17 months old. I swear Emma still has them though! About every 1.5 – 2 weeks she goes through this burst of unruliness that lasts 3 – 5 days. It’s like hell week. It’s filled with tantrums, screaming, hitting, hurting herself, and all around terror. She does weird things like scratch herself to the point of bleeding, or hitting her head, or pulling out her hair! She has even gone to the extreme of jumping in the air and landing directly on her rear end. She ends up with bruises everywhere, and bite marks, and more. I’m told this is normal (even by her doctor who I've ran to a couple times in fear of something more serious) and ignoring it is key, but if she ever did any real damage I’d never forgive myself so I feel like I have to react. I've tried putting her in time out in her room, sitting her in the corner, throwing away things she wants, taking toys away from her for a period of time, etc. I feel bad about it afterwards because I read that stuff like that causes anxiety, but HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE HER STOP?!?!? I’m just to the point now to where I can get stern with her, reprimand her somehow, talk to her, and it’s over in 5 minutes or less. But those 5 minutes are enough to make me bawl my eyes out. I even start to wonder if she’s going to be some psychopath killer when she’s older because she acts insane! People say that the 3’s are harder… well people, if that’s true, I may end up in the loony bin.

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